Oh I could have told you from the word go that I'm very odd
But aira got some extra seasoning.
I've been doing a lot of reflecting over this last week and I think I figured out some triggers for my trauma through my life
That's actually really good!
Why I'm content with nothing, why I don't care to buy anything, why I don't like to talk to people. I gave it a lot of thought
And honestly it comes back to how I was raised
Okay I just typed a super long message and it got blocked so I give up
There’s a limit before it goes that lol
Idk how many lines it is but I can find out
Oh no I've actually filled up a chat before with the long dialogue I'm talking it was bigger than the screen so that's not the case
No it is…depends on if a chat is filtered or not
I can't say this word. Lol
Try to type back with multiple ks and if it’s blocked that’s a way ti tell if a chat is filtered
I've never been in a chat where I could really put two k's together LMAO
Definitely a filtered chat then lol
Always filtered chats then lol
My one friends chat us unfiltered and it’s chaos
But back to what I was talking about
Lol I wouldn't dare unfilter a safe space.
I'm going to do this in parts LOL figure out where I got blocked
I was never physically abused growing up but mentally I was shredded by my mom
I was constantly grounded throughout the years so I never got social interaction with anybody but from school
But at school I was the loner and I got bullied all the time
This is sounding too familiar lol
So I got used to not talking to anybody and trying to be as small as I can in a 6'3 body
And then after I graduated my mom decided to take 90% of my paychecks cuz my parents split and she had a cocaine habit to endorse that I didn't know about
I figured that one out years later
And I'm talking a lot of money 2500 and I would only see 300 of that paycheck when I was in the oil field
So I got used to having the bare minimum and lost all my desires for anything.
Okay I'm done trauma dumping in here, I'm sorry
