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Do you know how horrible it is to live with people who already mourned in your heart and they act like your family? Some days I wanna smack them and myself…

Do you know how horrible it is to live with people who already mourned in your heart and they act like your family? Some days I wanna smack them and myself…
Yes. I call them acquaintances. Instant demotion.
I call them dead
Add that as a permanent suffix to their name.
They won’t stay dead. Keep acting like everything is fine like I didn’t already kill them in my head to survive
Tell them they are dead or stain their laundry with black ink.
And start an argument and cause drama which ultimately is blamed on me on how horrible I am? No
Play dumb?
They already think I’m mental so why not…