I know the feeling. I hate when eating makes me happy
Because how does that help me satisfy my desire to not exist ☺️
Yeh? I’m pretty heavy already and considering I spend of my time trying to sleep in bed it doesn’t cause me much pain
Gets you more attention then just being dead atleast
Idk trying to find peace with the idea of becoming fatally obesemakes the binge eating less regrettable
It’s nice, strange to actually think you’re seriously listening to what I’m saying when I just think I’m shouting into the void
You don’t have to be fit to look good
I have a few times in the past
I was getting better. Even ina relationship despite my weight. And then that person betrayed me and tried to manipulate me. It was like my final hope, my belief in care and love destroyed.. not to sound too dramatic
I wanna speak to that person again. Let them see how bad I’ve gotten after they used me
They dated me for nearly a year. There must be feelings and if they see I’ve gained nearly 100lbs I’m sure it might shock them into atleast apologising for their actions
I never would have hadsuch bad eating habits if she didn’t indulge it so much
I know it’s one me but I doubt she’d be able to ignore the impact she had
I don’t think I’ve got that much left to lose
Yeh it’s immature and it’s tragic that I’ve convinced myself of it
Yeh easier said then done when I feel dependent on it
I don’t hate my body thankfully. I don’t think I could have let this happen if I totally hated how I looked
Yeh it feels like a luxury to be able to binge eat
